第337章 老顽童师父的趣事
91书院(91shuyuan.com)更新快,无弹窗!
有一天,师父又晃晃悠悠地下山去找关清和王风了。
他到了关清那儿,关清正蹲在门口愁眉苦脸的。师父一瞅,大嗓门就喊开了:“关清啊,你这是咋的啦?一副苦瓜脸!”
关清抬头看了师父一眼,苦巴巴地说:“师父,我最近做啥都不顺,感觉运气太差了。”
师父一听,眼睛一瞪:“啥运气不运气的,为师来给你改改运!”说着就从兜里掏出个破石头,在关清脑袋上比划了几下,“好了,霉运走了!”
王风看着师兄关清被师父捉弄偷笑着。
关清嘟囔着:“好你个小风,等师父走了的,看你还笑我不。”
王风单纯正直,平时喜欢一本正经,但是在关清面前总是一副小孩子样。他总是猝不及防的被大师兄捉弄一下。
关明则相对聪明一点,关清也就偶尔能得逞一两回。但王风是每次都被关清骗去捉弄半天。
“哎,二师父就是这样单纯可爱。”冷珑和温阳感慨道。
关清一脸懵:“师父,这就完啦?”
师父一拍胸脯:“那当然,为师出手,还能有错?来来来,先给我打一套拳法看看。”
关清不敢怠慢,立马打起拳来。师父看了几眼,气得吹胡子瞪眼:“你这打得啥呀?软绵绵的,像个大姑娘绣花!给我扎马步去,一个时辰不许动!”
这时候,王风也来了。一看到师父这架势,忍不住笑出声:“师父,您这也太狠了吧!”
师父白了王风一眼:“你懂啥,为师这是严格要求。”
王风凑过来:“师父,那您也给我指点指点呗。”
师父哼了一声:“你呀,为师一看就知道你最近太懒,没好好练功。”
王风赶紧摇头:“师父,冤枉啊!大师兄知道的,我最勤恳啦!”
师父眼珠一转:“那行,为师考考你,要是答不上来,就罚你给我买十斤好酒。”
王风心里一紧,硬着头皮说:“师父您问。”
师父清了清嗓子:“那我问你,咱们道观门口那棵树上有几个鸟窝?”
王风和关清都傻眼了,这算哪门子问题啊!
王风结结巴巴地说:“师父,这……这我哪知道啊!”
师父哈哈大笑:“不知道?那就乖乖买酒去!还有,给我练一百遍剑法,少一遍都不行!”
关清和王风对视一眼,无奈地叹气,知道又被师父给套路了。
“哈哈哈哈哈,鸟窝有几个。亏得他老头能想起来。”周劲笑的在地上滚来滚去。
有一次,师父带着关清和王风以及关明下山去赶集。看到一个卖糖葫芦的,师父馋得不行,却故意板着脸对关清和王风说:“你们两个,谁要是能把这个卖糖葫芦的说得免费送咱们一串,就算谁本事大。”关清和王风面面相觑,最后王风灵机一动,上前对卖糖葫芦的人说:“我们师父能一口气把你这所有糖葫芦的口味都猜出来,要是猜不对,我们就买十串,要是猜对了,您就送我们一串。”卖糖葫芦的不信,结果师父真的都猜对了,师徒四人得意地拿着免费的糖葫芦大摇大摆地走了。
糖葫芦小贩等四人走远后忍不住嘀咕着:“这四个人可真可爱啊,让人忍不住想被他们骗一骗。”
“小贩,你这是恋爱脑啊!去挖野菜去吧。”白山忍不住吐槽起来。
师父心血来潮,要考验关清和王风的轻功。他在树上挂了一个小铃铛,让他们去摘,谁先摘到就算谁赢。结果关清和王风争着往上跳,不小心撞在了一起,双双摔倒在地,疼得龇牙咧嘴,师父却在一旁笑得前仰后合。
“妈呀,嗑cp还得看老神仙。”燕雁欢喜的看着大师父和二师父。
又有一日,师父说要教关清和王风下棋。结果自己连输好几盘,气得把棋子一扔,耍赖说:“这棋子不好,这棋盘也不行,不算不算,重来!”关清和王风哭笑不得。
师父偶尔还会带着关清和王风去钓鱼,半天都没钓到一条。师父就开始埋怨他俩:“肯定是你们两个站在这儿把鱼都吓跑了!”关清和王风只好远远地站着,结果师父还是没钓到,最后只能灰溜溜地回去,还嘴硬说:“今天这鱼都没睡醒,不好钓!”
“哈哈哈哈,这老头真有趣啊!钓鱼佬的日常就是嘴硬不认输。”墨滨也忍不住笑出了声。
过年的时候,师父让关清和王风以及关明一起写春联。王风写得规规矩矩,关清和关明却写得歪歪扭扭。师父指着关清和关明的字说:“你们这字啊,比那螃蟹爬得还难看!”然后自己拿起笔,写了一幅更丑的,还得意地说:“这才叫艺术!”
“哈哈哈哈哈,艺术家不愧是艺术家。”冷彦笑的肚子疼了。
有一日,师父看到关清和王风在争论谁的功夫更厉害,便站出来说:“别争了,你们俩谁能把我从这椅子上拉起来就算谁厉害。”关清和王风使尽浑身解数
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