第一章 超级女警(下)
91书院(91shuyuan.com)更新快,无弹窗!
重新坐回车上,刘憬终于意识到一个严重的问题,两人不认识,还没交换手机号码,那女网友只说了时间地点就下线了,连接头暗号都没有!这可怎么办?总不能见个女的就跟傻逼似的上去深邃甜蜜吧?想到已经干了一回傻逼事儿,刘憬脸上直发热。
“太失策了!太冒失了!”刘憬从没见过网友,一点儿经验没有,这下开始头疼了。
“笃笃笃!”有人敲车窗。
刘憬正郁闷呢,猛然转过头,一对超级大的胸部收入眼底!不过眼下他没心情欣赏,因为还看到了另一个东西:一条斜斜勒过乳沟的白色皮带。
我靠!警察!超级大的女警察!警察怎么找上我了?我也没怎么招啊!对任何开车人来说,交警从来与瘟神无异,刘憬也不例外。
“真败兴!”刘憬诅咒了一句,忙开车门准备下车。那女警正站在车门边,一个不防,“噗!”胸前的超级大就与车门来了个亲密接触。
“哎你!”超级女警红着脸跳开,屁股差点儿没把自己摩托车撞翻。
糟!还不知道犯什么事儿呢,又给人猥亵了!刘憬滚鞍下车,忙不迭地道歉:“对不起对不起,我不是故意的,警察大姐,你没事儿吧?”
美女交警寒着一双眼,脸色变来变去,超级大兀自起伏着,慢慢举起手,打了一个标准军礼:“先生,驾照?”
刘憬没动,愣了愣道:“大姐,我真不是故意的!”
“驾照!”女警眼中掠过一丝愠怒,加大的音量在晚风中异常清脆。刘憬翻了翻眼皮,不情愿地把驾照递了过去,他认倒霉了。
女交警看着他的脸,仔细对照了一番,脸色舒缓了少许:“这里不准停车,你不知道吗?”
刘憬急忙转身,前后看了看,晕,还真有没停车的。“大姐,我真不知道!您行行好,我保证,下回一定注意。”
“对不起,我在执行公务。”超级女警毫不容情,变戏法似的从屁股后边掏出个小本本。“罚款200,七日内就近到……”
“停回车就200?谁家钱也不是大风刮来的,太黑了吧!”刘憬这个不爽。
女警察抬了下头,耐着性子道:“先生,我是照章办事儿,如果您不服,可以申请复议,或者直接向法院起诉。”美女面不改色,说的比炒豆还熟练。
超级女警说完,挑畔般地白了他一眼,低头准备开罚单。
“哎别别,您先别,我服,我服还不行吗!”刘憬急了,一把按住女警两手。为了200块钱,他决定以柔克刚,凭自己搞推销的嘴皮子推dao她。
女警眉头微蹙,盯了盯他双手,又缓缓抬头,盯向他的眼睛。
“冷静,情绪要冷静!别激动,耐心听我说!”撞完人大胸又摸人小手,刘憬怕女警发飙,边安抚边慢慢回收双臂。女交警目光稍敛,刘憬又道:“警察大姐,在您开罚单之前,我好象还有权利申辩和陈述一下,这应该不违反你们的规定吧?”
女警似有些意外,随即露出一丝不屑,小本子往腋下一夹:“好,你说吧,我听着。”
刘憬松了口气,开始编瞎话:“跟您说吧,这车不是我的,是跟朋友借的,您看我,哪象买得起车的人?我今天……是跟女朋友见面,第一次见面,一会儿还得请人吃饭呢,您罚我200,就付不起帐了,您说我一大男人,五尺多高,这不丢人现眼吗!您行行好,这次……就别罚了!下次、下次如果您再逮住我,加倍还不行吗?”
“哦,请女朋友吃饭,还是第一次见面。”美女玩味地打量着他,忽然笑了,“编的理由倒也充分,可罚款又不是现在交,怎么会耽误你请女朋友吃饭?”
“嗯,这个……”刘憬懵了,瞎话编了个大BUG。
女警看了看他,没好气道:“算了,你这根本不是什么理由,但我们警察也是讲人情的,看你年轻轻的,态度也不错,这次就……”
“那就谢谢大姐了!”刘憬立马打断开谢,妄图加速既成事实。
女警察眼中闪出一丝不易查觉的笑意:“别高兴太早了,我是说这次从轻,罚一百吧。”
靠!她怎么还罚!“等等!您再等等!”刘憬着急,又想去抓人手,女警一双艳目刷地射来,他忙缩回。
女警不耐烦了:“我说你这个人,别说现在不用你交钱,就是用,你请女朋友吃饭不会多一百块钱都不带吧?还好意思说自己五尺多高!”
刘憬尴尬了一下,干脆道:“我说大姐,这不是钱的问题,是心情。比方说您,您丢一百块钱肯定不在乎,可要是吐口痰罚五块,您不一样郁闷一整天?您想想,我这是看女朋友啊,是喜事,大家都是中国人,谁不想讨个吉利!您又不差我这百八的,好事做到底,送佛送到西,还闹着我感激您,这有什么不好?”
刘憬说得挺冲,女警被逗乐了,妙目一瞥道:“好吧,算你说的有理,
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