048 睡了五六回
91书院(91shuyuan.com)更新快,无弹窗!
老汉不笑,燕小乙笑着笑着也不好意思再笑,而是穿起衣服,走到老汉身边!
“老头,怎么个说法啊。”燕小乙道:“结婚是大好事儿,就算不是自己家的娃娃,这乡里乡亲的敲锣打鼓成亲也是吉祥事儿,至于这么个表情么?哦,我知道了,人家抢了你的儿媳妇?”
啪嗒!
老汉翻着白眼,从腰后拿出烟袋锅在燕小乙脑袋上敲了下道:“乱说话,我是在为牛老三不值,这孩子,这个月都娶六回亲了。”
“啊?”燕小乙惊道:“我只听说过克夫,却从没听说过克妻的,这本事对男人来说真不知道是福是祸,我该说他是天煞孤星的命,还是该说他命里犯桃花?怎么挺有点让人羡慕的。”
“瞎说。”老汉道:“他虽说娶了六回亲,可娶的都是一个婆娘。”
“不是吧。”燕小乙无语道:“合着他们小夫妻有婚姻恐惧症还是婚姻强迫症,结婚离婚,好玩么?再说好玩也不成吧,民政局不管么?”
老汉叹口气道:“管啥管啊,人家娶六回亲,楞是都没把婚事给办成了。”
老汉叹完,便敲出烟袋锅的灰,塞了点烟草,给自己点上后,便把事情娓娓道来。
这牛老三本名叫牛津,燕小乙乐,这人的名字够牛的,不过,牛老三的名字虽然牛,却是个老实孩子,住村东头儿,三代农户,村里人看着他长大的,憨厚,老实,有着乡下人的朴实跟勤劳,而牛老三的媳妇儿,也是村里人,比牛老三小两岁,两小无猜,青梅竹马,在田板地里滚着泥巴一起长大的,小时候,两家人就觉得这桩亲事能成,等两个孩子长大了,两家人便琢磨着把婚事办了,哪成想,这婚事办出毛病了,看风水,挑吉日,敲锣打鼓,牛老三把媳妇儿娶进家门,一切都是好好的,可是,洞房花烛夜,春梦到天明,本来挺快活的事儿,可等到天亮就出事了,那睡在枕头边的媳妇儿竟然没有了!
这媳妇儿当然不是真凭空消失了,而是回了娘家,就那么莫名其妙的一觉醒来,新娘子发现自己睡在以前自己屋子的大床上,若只是这样也就算了,顶多就是梦游症,可是那结婚的嫁衣也回来了,自己家带过去的陪嫁品也回来了,而对方娶亲给的财礼却凭空消失了,不光如此,连婚宴上乡里乡亲包的份子钱,天一亮,也全回了宾客手中,甚至那点过的鞭炮,用过的红纸,吃肚子里的喜糖,一桌一桌早已经做成喜宴的食材全部都变回了原样。
那一场婚事好似梦一场,梦醒了,全部都变回了原样。
所以,虽说是古怪,但也只当大家是真做梦了,毕竟也没出什么事儿,就是跟做梦似的,牛老三虽想不通,却也不想了,索性招呼人马,敲锣打鼓又结婚了,骑着带了红花的黑毛驴,再次风风光光的把媳妇儿给娶进家门,照旧一切安然无恙,可是,新婚夜一觉天明,又出事了,新娘子又没了,所有的一切又都恢复了原样,又一次的跟做了场结婚梦一般,更了不得的是村子里一个上年纪的婆婆,看了眼新娘子后,无比惊讶的说了句:怎么这新娘子还是处子!
这话把人给吓的半死,新娘子新婚之夜可是几度风雨,而且还两次新婚,哪会是处子,但那婆婆年轻的时候是给人当稳婆的,她说的话,也是绝对错不了,于是,这怪事便的更怪。
两家的父母都打了退堂鼓,不结婚好好的,结婚就出这么个怪事儿,但牛老三是老实人,老实人一般认死理,再说他们是两情相悦,哪肯就这么算了,于是,第三回婚礼开始了,这一回,迎了亲,吃了宴,酒都没喝,牛老三跟媳妇儿楞是在房里坐到天明,却是一切照常什么事都没有,牛老三顿时笑了,可就在他笑过之后的当晚,两人熄灯睡觉,第二天一醒,媳妇儿又没有了,不用说,只要是跟结婚有关的事情都回到了原点。
牛老三不信邪,楞是继续迎亲,这一回,两人虽然还是睡了,却没敢圆房,希望事情能有转机,但第二天醒来,媳妇儿照旧不见,一切照旧变回原样,跟圆不圆房着实没有关系。
一趟亲迎了四回,古怪的要命,两家人都怕,牛老三也怕,但他真喜欢自己媳妇儿,焦虑了几天,估摸着是有邪祟,但牛老三不甘心,去山里请了个光头和尚,和尚拍着胸脯说自己法力无边,结果牛老三又开始迎亲,结果睡了一晚,媳妇儿还是没了,这次没的不光是媳妇,还有那光头和尚,找遍了村子跟周围三里地,全都不见踪影,像是凭空消失一般。
村里人都劝牛老三算了,可是牛老三着实死心眼,没隔几天,便带回来一个道士,于是,门口那锣鼓声又是震天响,牛老三得娶第六回媳妇儿了。
燕小乙听完之后也是目瞪口呆的吧唧嘴,半天憋出一句道:“牛老三那媳妇儿可冤。”
可不是么,牛老三多睡几回没事儿,可他媳妇就惨了,人家被睡了五回,竟然还是处的,要知道,女人第一次可疼,但再疼也就一回,哪像
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